I wish I couldn't relate to this song. Oh, but alas, alack, how it sings to my heart. Amanda Palmer and Neil Gaiman should get their own brains and stay out of mine. Err, well, maybe not all the way out. I kinda enjoy the company. I am lonely without them. And when I get lonely, I start googling. And that's not good for anybody.
I recently learned the word "limerence" which, according to Wikipedia, means, "an involuntarycognitive and emotional state in which a person feels an intense romantic desire for another person. The concept is an attempt at a scientific study into the nature of romantic love." I relate to it as that fleeting crush feeling that struts through the beginning of most romantic and/or sexual relationships. It's those weeks or months when you eat, sleep and breath this one person. It was surely a case of limerence in junior high school that caused me to sit on a ant hill, full of butt-biting ants all through lunch recess just to talk to Ryan C. It was also quite clearly limerence that sparked my 3:00am phone call to my (then) future-husband's office after I had spent hours "Yahoo-ing" (yes, I am that old) him to find the coveted number and a picture of him.
While I have enjoyed this "crazy-in-love" feeling on multiple occasions over the years, I have to admit that, at times, it does feel a little too crazy. I was intrigued, but not surprised, to learn that, when studied, the brains of those in limerence resembled the brains of people who suffer from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). According to Italian scientists, both have abnormally low levels of serotonin. Serotonin levels play a huge role in establishing mood. It is easy for me to imagine a correlation between my need to google an old high school flame, and my need to hold my breath while driving through a tunnel or my need to ride the bus all the way back to work when I was almost home just to check one more time that the lights are really off. Really.
When I talk about my obsessive-compulsive behaviors, I think I sound rather nutty. When Amanda Palmer sings Neil Gaimen's lyrics to "I Google You." She's so flippin' cool! I know! Maybe I should google her. I bet there is some fascinating information on Al Gore's Fantastical Interweb just waiting for me. Maybe I could find pictures of her when she was a little girl or lyrics to songs that haven't yet been sung publicly. How tall is she anyway? Could we share clothes? What does she use to draw in her eyebrows, and how does it stay on so well? What is "Coin-Operated Boy"really about anyway?
Oh, Amanda Palmer! Call me crazy, but I google YOU!!!
