Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Hit the Sheets, Part 4
Sheet Set
OK, I thought I was done, but I found one more irresistible item of bedding. Last week I whined a bit when I couldn't find sexy photographic bedding with boys on it. Thanks to Al Gore and his fantastical Interweb, I managed to track down not only bedding with a naked man on it, but, even better, a headless naked man. Now I am able not only to live out my fantasies of attaching my head to a man's body, but also those of making love to someone prone to chasing Ichabod Crane on horseback.
The makers of these sheets are admirably detail oriented; the backside of the duvet is complete with a backside. Spooning has never been easier. Now my bed buddy can't complain when I tell him he has a flat ass. I mean, first off, it's true and secondly, he hasn't a head with which to produce complaints.
As if I wasn't completely satisfied with my headless man, I also have the option of acquiring a headless woman and a headless couple. I never thought I would get to live out that neck-less necrophiliac ménage-a-trois fantasy. My dreams are coming true all over the place!Labels: bedding, review, toy
tidbit posted by Mosa @ 5:09 PM
Friday, August 1, 2008
Hit the Sheets, Part 3
Cheat Sheets
Velcro sheets? Piece of cake. Kama Sutra sheets? No problem. Little did I know I would spend an hour and a half shifting through the sheets to try and find a link for a company I saw last January at The Adult Entertainment Expo (AEE). Anyone hear of actually marketing your product? I digress…
Have you ever wanted to sleep with a woman chalk-full o’ silicone without actually having to communicate with her? Do you fear the prospect of maneuvering the curves of an actual female or the conversation and emotions that may come along with her? Worry not! Now you can sleep with a two-dimensional diva (or several) for only $65 (including shipping and handling – yes, once your payment is received, you can handle her as much as you want). All this and you don’t have to buy her dinner. Heck, you can eat dinner off of her, and she’ll never complain. You can even throw her in the washing machine when you’re done.
It seems several companies have taken advantage of the cutting-edge printing technology available and brought to market photo sheets. FantaSheet is the company I saw in January at ANE. According to TechCrunch, their competitor, Reality Bedding, fell asleep on the job and let go of the dream last year. Vision Bedding, which had planned to collaborate with Reality Bedding at one point, not only offers photo bedding but custom photo bedding. They may not go for the photos like the schoolgirls offered by FantaSheet, but they seem to have the most versatility. Heck, they even make custom dog beds, for the spoiled bitches in your life.
FantaSheet promises a future full of custom sheets and sheets with male models, but for now, if you want to catch your Z’s from them, you’ll have to do it on double D, 2D T’n’A. Sweet dreams…
Labels: bedding, review, toys
tidbit posted by Mosa @ 12:23 AM
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Hit the Sheets, Part 2
Spread Sheets
Sex can produce some sticky situations. For some, the stickier, the better. That is where Sportsheets come in. The signature product of Sportsheets International, the Sportsheet Bondage Bedsheet, makes use of Velcro to aid in restraining bed buddies. Tom Stewart, the founder and president of the company, was first inspired by those Velcro walls such as the one that appeared on The David Letterman Show in 1984. He figured that if Velcro was strong enough to hold a person upside down, it could replace more traditional bondage restraints – why ruin a perfectly good necktie or two?
Each sheet set comes with four wrist/ankle cuffs that can be quickly attached to (and, thankfully, released from) four, amazingly sticky, Velcro anchor pads that adhere directly to the velvety Velcro fitted sheet. The sheet itself looks like a plain old black sheet, and it acts like one, too; it is machine washable. And just in case you thought about freeing yourself by removing the entire sheet, the folks at Sportsheets fitted it with a drawstring and two adjustable nylon straps that are fastened under the mattress. While these are not the sheets of a super-experienced dungeon master, they are surprisingly powerful and, what I might call, “dungeon-light.” Like any good bed buddy, they are strong yet soft to the touch, flexible and easy to clean, and, of course, they have excellent staying power and durability. I am certainly stuck on them. Labels: bedding, review, toys
tidbit posted by Mosa @ 8:29 PM
Hit the Sheets, Part 1
Damask is classy and satin is sexy, but I was recently reminded that there are a myriad of other options available when it comes to bed linens. Here are a few of my favorites.
Fact Sheet
I love Twister. I love the anticipation of trying to figure out how I am going to keep my right hand on red while I stretch my left leg all the way over to the first available green. I have fondly held on to childhood memories of the game, and often find myself wondering why I don’t play it more often. No longer! I have just discovered a new, slightly more grown-up, twist on this childhood favorite. Karmasheetra has incorporated Twister and the ancient Indian art of Kama Sutra into, of all things, a bed sheet. Be still my heart!
Who would have thought that sexual nirvana would come in the form of a cotton-poly blend flat sheet and cost only £19.99? Printed on each Karmasheetra are numbered and color-coded pieces of anatomy -- blue for boys, pink for girls (although, I don't see why you couldn't switch up the assigned colors, with appropriate accessories). By choosing corresponding numbers, partners can align themselves in seven different, and potentially bliss producing, positions. Thank the gods! I have always found it a challenge to keep my ass off the ground whilst playing Twister. The lovely folks at Karmasheetra have left a spot just for my ass, several spots, actually. They have also condensed thousands of years of sexual and spiritual practices into color-coded and numbered cartoon drawings. Thanks for saving me some serious reading; who says paint-by-numbers is a bad idea? Perhaps their next endeavor will be a sheet set incorporating the classic 1960’s game, Operation and acupressure: Acuration? I suppose it’s not quite as sexy, but a girl’s gotta dream. I have always loved that big, red nose.Labels: bedding, review, toys
tidbit posted by Mosa @ 6:47 PM
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