Thursday, September 11, 2008
Joy to the World
This morning, whilst climbing the stairs to nowhere at the gym, I was reading. I was reading The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden. Most of my reading happens aboard some exercise contraption surrounded by sweaty strangers and bad morning TV. Sometimes these distractions steal my focus. Not this morning. This morning, Branden said something, and I felt he was talking just to me. I delighted in the "ah-ha!" moment I had when I read Branden's description of "An intelligence that takes joy in its own function":
"The natural inclination of a child is to take pleasure in the use of mind no less than of body. The child's primary business is learning. It is also the primary entertainment. To retain that orientation into adulthood, so that consciousness is not a burden but a joy, is the mark of a successfully developed human being" (73).
I could almost see Nathaniel Branden's clear blue eyes peering out of the pages, looking directly at me as he said this. For the last few months, I have been noticing that when I want to access my feelings of joy, I turn to my childhood. I still relish an opportunity to play dress-up, and I delight in make-believe. These "childish" activities bring me great pleasure, and a weight is lifted from my soul.
As I explore who I am and what I want to be doing (yet again), I keep coming up with two answers. First, I love to play. I love to fall on the floor laughing, tears streaming down my flushed cheeks. I love games and pretending and funny voices and puns. I love dress-up and whispering and singing silly songs and wrestling. I laugh at fart jokes. Recently, I was complimented when an seven year-old friend of mine chided me for being a big kid. Damn straight.
The other thing I love is sex. I love connecting deeply with other people. I love learning new things about my body and how it works. I love anticipation and flirtation. I am mesmerised by the human form, and I admire those who embrace their sexuality fully.
For a while now I have been trying, and failing, to integrate these things. I imagined they were connected, but I couldn't really see how. I had hit a wall. This morning, Branden's words sent bricks flying everywhere. He made me want to take a closer look at what he was saying.
"The natural inclination of a child is to take pleasure in the use of mind no less than of body."
Call me childish, but just like it is my natural inclination to sing songs and play dress-up, it is my natural inclination to find pleasure through my body, including sexual pleasure. The joy that I find through my body is one more manifestation of my love of play. While I derive immense pleasure from the use of my mind and learning new things with it, it is matched (at the very least) by the pleasure I glean from the use of my body. We all are born without knowledge of the taboo associated with deriving pleasure from our bodies. Religion and society tell us sex is bad and masturbation is worse. Imagine if we could take into adulthood, without a lick of fear or shame or guilt, the unbridled joy that our bodies are capable of giving us.
"The child's primary business is learning."
When I think about it, it is really rather extraordinary how much children learn and absorb as they age. I never cease to be amazed by how much children pick up, both consciously and not, from the environment around them. What amazes me more though is the ridiculous notion that so many of us have that learning stops when school is over and/or adulthood is reached. The most youthful adults I know are the ones that are constantly learning new things, uncovering new ideas, trying some new activity. Being in a constant state of inquiry keeps us young.
"[Learning] is also the primary entertainment."
The other day we went to visit some friends and their three year-old son. The living room floor was covered with the packaging from an electronic keyboard (the piano kind, not the typing kind) that had been opened and set up only moments before our arrival. It was a pleasure to watch this child fully engross himself in the wonders of his new treasure. He was completely entertained by learning how it worked and exploring all of its features (most noticeably, the volume control -- ouch!). He was utterly enthralled.
One of the reasons I am enthralled by the topic of sex is that I find that there are, seemingly, limitless things to learn about it. Given the fact that our culture persists in being so secretive and quiet about it, I imagine there are many things yet uncovered. For example, it wasn't until 1981 that the term G-Spot was even coined. I am excited just by the prospect of all the secrets that still lay hidden. Learning about sex, both with my mind and my body, gives me great joy.
"To retain that orientation into adulthood, so that consciousness is not a burden but a joy, is the mark of a successfully developed human being."
As an adult, I have tried all kinds of things to block out my consciousness. I have kept having "just one more glass of wine" until I couldn't see straight. I have slept. I have watched with intrigue to see which one of the fabulous celebrity dancers would make it to the next level of the lavish, over-dramatized televised competition. I have successfully avoided looking at, or being conscious of, things that cause me pain. Self-anesthetization is frighteningly easy.
The more I embrace my childishness, the easier it becomes to remain conscious. In fact, when I am learning about things that fascinate me and doing things that I love, just like a child at nap time, I fight to maintain consciousness for as long as I possibly can. Thanks, Nathaniel Branden, for the much needed wake-up call.
References:
Branden, Nathaniel. The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem. New York: Bantam Books, 1995.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/G-spotLabels: book review, hero, rant, review
tidbit posted by Mosa @ 10:43 AM
