Wednesday, August 20, 2008
My New Blew Tooth Mouth Piece
I have spent the last two weeks chasing my husband around the house trying to give him head. While I am sure that this is a normal phenomenon occurring daily in households across America, it is not something that generally happens in our home. The reason for my husband's sprint was a new toy I picked up called Blowguard. This clever little device was one of the few truly novel things I encountered at the Adult Novelty Expo (ANE) last month in Los Angeles.
The Blowguard is, essentially, a silicone bite plate that fits over the teeth and prevents them from "leaving their mark" on the person at the effect of fellatio. The dentist who created this gadget did so originally to appease a client who wished to keep her dentures in place whilst pleasing her partner orally. Although both the dentist and I agree that her partner may have preferred the "gumming it" approach, the woman was adamant and explained that her partner knew not of her toothlessness. Hence, the Blowguard was born.
Since its humble debut in the mouth of a nameless, toothless woman, Blowguard has seen some improvements. While the dentist/creator does not offer custom-fit models as yet, the standard silicone tray is surprisingly comfortable and malleable; I kinda wanted to chew it. The Blowguard now comes with a removable mini-bullet vibe that fits neatly in the front of the device. I imagine, that with proper placement, it could do a number on the super sensitive frenulum.
Since acquiring a Blowguard of my very own, I have been chomping at the bit, so to speak, to give it a go. My husband, who I would consider to be fairly adventurous, has not been so eager to be my research partner. Perhaps I should take it as a compliment to my "natural" skill, but he wasn't super turned on by the thought of “guarding” the “blow,” or “taking the job out blow jobs,” as the company’s motto suggests.
Finally, late one Saturday afternoon, we struck a deal. I readied the Blowguard with the cherry flavored lube that was included in the package and placed it in my mouth whilst trying to override my strong urge to mouth breathe and tell Luke I was his father (Maybe there is a market among the Star Wars obsessed -- I know there must be a fetish community somewhere that worships those who can give good Vader). If I ever try the Blowguard again, I will wait until after dark; the bright flesh-colored loop that holds the vibe in place is a little too reminiscent of my retainer days, and having to look at it did not make me feel like the sexiest of sex-pots. Note to Star Wars fans: wearing it at night would also maximize one's resemblance to the Dark Lord of the Sith. Bonus points!
My husband is not part of the Vader fetish community, but he was very patient with my unintentional (ok, and then kind of intentional) imitation of Shelly Marsh ("Skyler!"). He also gave me ample time to try and figure out the darn thing. While Blowguard's website clearly indicates that the device should go on one's bottom teeth, the package does not have such clear instructions. Having not explored the website prior to usage, I experimented with the Blowguard in both places. Gravity was not my friend with the Blowguard on my top teeth, and I ended up having to bite down harder to keep it in place. Not fun. Wearing the Blowguard on my bottom teeth worked much better although, I like being able to get my lips around my teeth, and the mini-vibe inhibited this.
While I certainly see that there could be a market for the Blowguard, I am sad to say that I don't think I am it (at least not until I lose my teeth or gain a greater appreciation for lightsabers). I am all for trying new things, but I found myself thinking, "If it ain't broke…" That said, I am glad that Blowguard exists, and I think it could make a fun gift. There is such a dearth of sex toys geared towards men, and I welcome this creative newcomer. Boys are hard to shop for as it is, and it is great to be able to buy that special someone what is, essentially, a blow job in a box for under thirty bucks. I imagine that just the thought of what's to come might be enough to get many a motor running.
Overall, the unusual sensation of vibration in my mouth was my favorite part of the Blowguard, but my husband did not share the love, and we ended up turning off the vibe. The Blowguard experience was definitely an entertaining one, but my man had a hard time seeing what all the buzz was about, and ultimately told me to "buzz off."Labels: review, toys
tidbit posted by Mosa @ 11:35 AM
